Wow! OMG I can’t believe I haven’t written in 30 days. Today is Friday the 13th and my 96th day of rising before the sun. My only reason for not writing is overwhelm, a result of growing pains. When I began this process 96 days ago, and asked for expansion and growth, I forgot that sometimes it can be confronting and a wee bit painful, emotionally. Couple this with the darkest time of the year and we have the makings of emotional soup.
I am currently doing things which have pushed me out my comfort zone and stretched me in the most uncomfortable places. My capacity has indeed grown. Things are moving swiftly in my life. These changes are a blessing so I will continue on my sadhana journey and endure the temporary discomfort.
This time of year, the darkest days, are perfect for doing introspective work. After all, it is not hard to notice our shadow side when the sun sinks lower in the horizon each day and the thermometer dips. The cold compresses us, forcing any and all sadness and discontent up to the surface. It dawned on me that this is another place where we get to practice surrender to the darker side of life – death. We experience mini deaths all the time, any time something comes to an end.
This is an opportunity to make peace with endings. Without endings there are no beginnings; and, if you wish for something to change in your life you must first end something before there is room for the new. Like cleaning out a too-full closet. Before it is cleaned out there is little space for new purchases. Experiences are like closets. One needs to be cleared out before a new, updated version can show up.