After many hours spent in workshops, trainings, yoga classes, and body-work sessions, I realized that had I just sat down and turned my gaze inward and allowed that gaze to rest upon my own inner radiance, and, if I could hold that gaze, all the resistance, all the misconceptions about myself and the world would just fall away. Perhaps all the work done was to clear away the debris obscuring my radiance. I could not gaze into the sultry eyes of the infinite because I wore the blinders of victim, limits, and boundaries.

Maybe we will never completely peel away all the resistance, all the mistruths, because we have to get up and make lunch. I’m okay with that. The closer I get to seeing and experiencing my own inner infinite self, the more I see the same in others-a true Namaste experience. So, when I get a phone call or an email, which has the potential to upset my balance, I handle it with increasing calm, grace, and less and less drama, tears or anger.

Many times I slip backward. It’s usually when I think I have it all figured out. This is good thing.  It brings humility. Humility brings me back to my humanity and connectedness. And, isn’t this the point of being a spiritual being in a human body?

Esther Hicks, as Abraham, says we will never get it done, because there is really nothing we ‘have’ to do. This idea confused a big part of my brain and at the same time I relaxed. What if all we had to do was just be? Sure, we need to work to pay the bills, take care of all those survival details. But, what if we accomplished all of those details with a detached nonchalance, an easeful effort, without pushing or forcing?

I’m still playing with this one. Not sure I’ll get that one in this lifetime. But it’s there in my mind as a ‘what if,’ something to aspire towards.

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