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RETURN OF THE HEROINE

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TaDa! Here it is, at long last, my novel. It is my wish that all who read it will be inspired and healed in some way. RETURN OF THE HEROINE tells the story of Joan of Arc’s deeply spir­i­tual jour­ney with Archangel Michael and how they inspire a mod­ern day woman, fac­ing a very real prob­lem, to heroic action. This is not your typ­i­cal meta­phys­i­cal novel. In it, you’ll find real human emo­tion, sex­u­al­ity, inspired action, spir­i­tual teach­ings, and come face to face with a real-life woman who could not only lead an army but con­verse with angels. Now how cool is that?

Available in hardcover, softcover and e-book, click on the book cover below.
Cover Return of the Heroine

Finding Balance

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As we approach the long anticipated and speculated about date of 12.21.12 many of us are wondering about the state of affairs in our lives, our communities, our country, and the world. We spend more and more time trying to hang onto what we have and we resist the changes that are inevitable.  We go kicking and screaming into the future, or at the very least, trembling with fear and uncertainty.

Those of us who use PRACTICE (yoga or meditation) as one of our tools in managing our mutable lives may find may find that we are clinging like the ‘hang in there baby’ cat, to this practice.  But, if we truly apply the principals of the ways of yoga and if we look with soft eyes at our lives and our practice, we can see ourselves objectively.

Recently, I was invited to attend a yoga retreat center in Vermont for yoga studio owners.  The first night there I was consumed with the worry that I did not pick the quietest room so I could continue with my steady meditation practice.  I had mentally committed to as much quiet contemplation time as I could get and even felt I didn’t need to do any of the yoga.  I know you can see where I’m headed, but I couldn’t at the time.

I skipped the first morning yoga class and joined everyone for breakfast wondering if I would fit in. When the owner mentioned snowshoeing in freshly fallen powder, even though it was only 7°F, I was all in. We set out under a crystalline blue sky with Annie, the horse, and Chrissy, the dog, leading the way.  After a couple of hours, and nearly 3 miles of trudging up ski trails and bushing-whacking up the sides of small mountains, past one breathtaking view after another, we had all exchanged stories and bonded.

After the hike I sat in my room at the center, my face flushed with the cold, exertion and joy, I realized I had been hiding behind my meditation practice.  As I tentatively let down that carefully placed boundary, it became clear to me that the weekend wasn’t about me getting inspiration for my next writing project, it was about connecting with others. From that moment on, I participated in everything and had more fun than I have in a while. My heart filled with the presence of others, generosity of the retreat center owner, the beauty of the land, and my own life.

While the energy of 12.21.12 is indeed about change and pealing away the layers covering our brilliance, it is also about grabbing at the lowing hanging fruit in our lives.  What beautiful gift is hanging unnoticed right in front of your face? I can tell you that one of those gifts is the spectacular light of your own essence, just waiting for you to allow it to come out and play.

What’s in a Name

Since M signifies the beginning of life, the sacred silence of creation and the center of our alphabet, a sense of mystery and magic will really begin entering our lives in a big way shortly, particularly after 12.21.2012.” Tania Gabrielle

I have taken advantage of an author’s prerogative to choose a pen name–Kaye Michelle. For a while, as I waited for my novel to be published, I was using both names–Khalsa and Michelle. Not only was this awkward and confusing, but my life’s direction felt chaotic. So, I’m going all the way and changing everything from Kaye Khalsa, my married name, to Kaye Michelle my first and middle names given at birth.

Many women go through their teen years knowing they will one day give up the name of their parents and take that of a husband. Since I am in my second marriage I have changed my name twice, to the names of my husbands.

This particular change signifies my journey. I have worked doggedly on myself. Always attempting to move beyond old barriers, heal wounds, and take up the banner of my own power and live with joy. Kaye Michelle is completely my name, and I love it that way.

Setting Your Life GPS

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Setting Intentions is just as important as setting a destination on your GPS.

As the world transforms before our very eyes, as the old unwinds and the new swims around seeking anchor in an ever-shifting landscape, we may feel unfocused, overwhelmed, or just plain tired.  Change is confronting and can be frightening. But, it also can be exciting and re-energizing if you allow it.

If you get clear on your dreams, figure out what matters to you, acknowledge your life’s mission, you will have direction.  Ask for and allow yourself to receive help from the Divine. They are standing by, ready to help you on your mission.

Decide where you want to be and then relax. Allow things to unwind and untangle. Allow the universe to help. The fog will lift and your path will be revealed.

By putting yourself into the stream of where your soul wishes you to be, and then relaxing, you will get there sooner. When we fight the currents, we use up precious physical and mental resources and our focus becomes diluted.

Relax, stay focused upon the goal, allow what is, and take care of all those little details in your life–pay your bills, clean up the clutter, eat good foods, move your body daily. Yogi Bhajan’s most favored reply to folks who felt challenged was simply, “Keep Up and You’ll Be Kept Up.”

Rescued!

ImageYou’re sitting on the beach. The sun is shinning in a perfect blue sky. The waves are folding in and out. You close your eyes to relax but all you can think of is the dilemma in which you find yourself. You begin to fantasize about how the situation–which is currently scaring the begeezes out of you–will get resolved.
 
Do you secretly wish to be rescued? Are your worst fears getting a hold of you?
 
In my work with clients and students, and when I’ve been in the ‘will-someone-please-rescue-me’ phase myself, I noticed this mental/emotional milieu is part of victim consciousness. Bummer right? This is nothing to be ashamed about. We all developed rescue fantasies to some degree-the hope and desire that our knight or princess (in shining armor or the latest fashion) will ride up in the white BMW and save us and defend us from our deepest fear manifesting at the moment–money, a bad job, or an abusive relationship.
 
The good news is, you will be rescued. But, and I hate to break it to you, your rescuer will not be who you think it will be. Your rescuer will be YOU.  It has to be you. In order to heal the program you must choose to rescue yourself. Notice I did not say we must rescue ourselves. I said, we only need ‘to choose’ to rescue ourselves.

See the difference?

Once, we decide that we are powerful enough to do the rescuing, opportunities suddenly pop up out of the blue to help us in one form or another. The former comes from victim consciousness, i.e., “I’m so weak and powerless I need someone else to fix, help, or rescue me.” The new empowered thought, “I choose to rescue myself,” has weight, conviction, and confidence. They are completely different energies.

Taking responsibility for our own well-being is a form of self-rescue. Knowing when you need to take a break, walk away from a situation not serving you, or simply schedule a massage for yourself. These are all subconscious signals to the body and the universe that you are rescuing yourself. Then suddenly the phone rings and it’s a break through job opportunity or someone offering to help you out in some way.

Rescued!

The universe responds to the state of your mind–only always!

Winter Solstice 2011

Greetings Friends,

Now is a time of great influx of light as the Divine Feminine becomes more awakened in all of us. The ancients looked to this time in great anticipation. So, why aren’t we cheering and dancing in the streets? The simplest answer is, because we have work to do.

For thousands of years the patriarchal force has been dominating all of mankind- men as well as women. It’s this out-of-balance negative patriarchal force that has shaped much of our world’s systems, that is, up until now. The Divine Feminine is the emerging balancing or equalizing force.

During the few weeks before Winter Solstice, when our physical world gets darker and colder, areas which may be out of harmony, get triggered or stimulated so we may heal or resolve them and find our way back to balance, to the light. This same energy may mark the greater part of 2012 as we ‘lighten’ our load. It’s all about the light.

As the Divine Feminine,  makes her presence known in your life by illuminating your inner landscape, you may cry in the face of injustices, bristle with imbalance, and shiver in the wake of violence-word or deed. For those of you on the spiritual path, you may find some of your belief systems challenged, your fears and tempers flaring.  Memories of unjust behaviors may trigger sadness, anger or anxiety.  Take heart, these emotions/programs from misaligned belief systems are surfacing to be healed.

You may find the greatest relief from slowing down, watching your thoughts and monitoring your own reactions to people and situations. If you look upon it all from the compassionate-witness point of view you should find the emotional discomforts minimized. Learn from your past and the past experiences of others. Forgiveness is the key. Forgive it all. Forgiveness is not about condoning harmful behavior, it is acceptance that the past happened. Release your attachment to the past happening any other way than the way than it did happen.  Learn from the experience. Forgive yourself and let it go. This is the way to freedom and a more open heart.

If you find yourself stuck in negative thinking, change your breathing, get out in nature, change your mind, shift your focus. Focus on the beautiful things in your life, all those things for which you are grateful.

What is the Divine Feminine?

In a polar universe the feminine is not the opposite of the male but the counter point. She is the wise place from which all things are created. She is the holder of possibilities, the well of dreams, the nourisher and healer of our hearts. She sets the rhythm for life and creation-when it is time to sow, time to rest, and time to harvest. Highly intuitive, she gives and receives in a manner benefiting the whole. She is active and powerful as well as passive and accepting.  She neither attacks, nor retreats but stands steady, strong. She embodies these aspects and more.

What is the Divine Masculine?

The Divine Male is the intellectual, initiating, action-oriented force in our duality bound world. He is protective, methodical, connected with nature. He is nurturing, sensual, and creative. He feels deeply, seeks wisdom, and strives to assimilate the divine in everyday life. Of course these are only a few of his numerous gifts.

Working together in both male and female bodies, the Masculine and Feminine flow, live, and create intuitively and harmoniously, in a way which benefits the greater whole and the individual at the same time.

Looking to the Archetypes for Guidance:

Feminine=Goddess, Queen, Priestess, Warrioress, Lover, Wise Woman

Masculine=God, King, Priest, Warrior, Lover, Sage

Holding the Gaze of the Infinite

After many hours spent in workshops, trainings, yoga classes, and body-work sessions, I realized that had I just sat down and turned my gaze inward and allowed that gaze to rest upon my own inner radiance, and, if I could hold that gaze, all the resistance, all the misconceptions about myself and the world would just fall away. Perhaps all the work done was to clear away the debris obscuring my radiance. I could not gaze into the sultry eyes of the infinite because I wore the blinders of victim, limits, and boundaries.

Maybe we will never completely peel away all the resistance, all the mistruths, because we have to get up and make lunch. I’m okay with that. The closer I get to seeing and experiencing my own inner infinite self, the more I see the same in others-a true Namaste experience. So, when I get a phone call or an email, which has the potential to upset my balance, I handle it with increasing calm, grace, and less and less drama, tears or anger.

Many times I slip backward. It’s usually when I think I have it all figured out. This is good thing.  It brings humility. Humility brings me back to my humanity and connectedness. And, isn’t this the point of being a spiritual being in a human body?

Esther Hicks, as Abraham, says we will never get it done, because there is really nothing we ‘have’ to do. This idea confused a big part of my brain and at the same time I relaxed. What if all we had to do was just be? Sure, we need to work to pay the bills, take care of all those survival details. But, what if we accomplished all of those details with a detached nonchalance, an easeful effort, without pushing or forcing?

I’m still playing with this one. Not sure I’ll get that one in this lifetime. But it’s there in my mind as a ‘what if,’ something to aspire towards.

How Outer Space Affects Inner Space or Why Do I Feel So Weird?

Hello Friends,

Recently on a NASA special covering the last launch of the space shuttle, a scientist mentioned that the universe was speeding up. Of course, this peaked my curiosity. I was all ears. “What this means,” he said. “Is that when you throw your keys in the air and they fall towards the earth, the speed at which the keys travel in both directions is faster.” Another NASA scientist went on to say there is a pushing force coming from deep space.

Wow, now doesn’t this support our ‘new age’ theory of a change with 11-11-11 or 12-21-12? For many of us, this is a validating scientific explanation for what we have been feeling. People are reporting pressure, frustration, moments of overwhelm, a quickening sensation in the gut, disturbing dreams, fluctuating emotions and the feeling of not being comfortable in our skins or anywhere for that matter.

The strength of the phases of the moon reminds us how we are affected by what is in space. If the molecules in space are speeding up you can bet your own molecules are too. The faster molecules move, the higher their vibration. Higher vibrating thoughts mean an increase in consciousness. This is a good thing.

Now, more than ever, movement, meditation, prayer, deep breathing and healthy eating will make a huge difference in managing this revved up energy–just as a surfer has to paddle to catch the wave and ride it without being swamped by it.

Let go and allow yourself to attune to the spiritual aspect of your being. This is a great opportunity to recalibrate your mind, change behaviors that no longer suit you. Thought always precedes form. YOU have the power.

Be gentle on yourselves and those around you. Take that extra breath before reacting. Drink more water, eat plenty of those fresh fruits and veggies this summer, and do some yoga. Stretching the body helps it to accommodate the increase in vibration more harmoniously.

Wishing you all a great ride!

With love and blessings…

Expanding Our Comfort Zones in 2011

2011 seems to be the year for expanding those comfort zones, stretching out our creative legs, and breaking through old preconceived notions and limitations of our own abilities.  When I meet face to face with the boundary of my comfort zone my first response is fear. I’m like a cat. My back goes up and my nervous system cries ‘warning, something strange in our field.’

Costa Rica has had this effect on me in the past. Every single trip we’ve taken down there over the last 10 + years stimulates this response from my nervous system.  Though, this year was different. When we drove up our steep road in our 4 wheel drive rental car and pulled into our own driveway, I began to purr. Well, not actually. In my head I purred and hummed with joy relishing the feeling of expanded comfort. It finally happened. I had successfully pushed through one of my most firm belief systems- that I would always feel challenged in Costa Rica.

What I discovered and continue to rediscover over and over again, is that when we face a fear, it shifts. We simply have to get right in front of it and face it. Look it in the eye. Take it in. Experience it without reacting. When we can be ‘in’ it completely, it begins to soften. The dark scary parts begin to lighten and look more friendly. Soon we are starring into the belly of the beast which is no longer a beast but a sweet house cat.

The miracle of this growth is the inspiration we give to others so they may face their inner demons and push past the false limitations and enjoy the infinite within themselves.

As I feel into the year it seems like it is going to be one of expansion for all of us.  Maybe if we all hold hands as we look into the dark void of fear, we can walk into the light with courage and a new found sense of self.

Words of Encouragement for Challenging Times

Dear Friends,
This post  is about offering kind and encouraging words to all of you during these pressurized times.  Today I enjoyed a very heartening lunch with a dear friend. It did not take long for us to realize we were experiencing similar uncomfortable and challenging feelings. We came to the conclusion that there is a global emptying going on, were we are coming up against events, people, jobs, which ‘feel’ jarring, painful, and in opposition to our integrity or just our nervous system.

This emptying is helping us to grow and be more authentic. By finding out who we aren’t we are discovering who we are. By excavating all that no longer aligns with us, we unveil the truth and beauty of who and what we are on a deeper layer.  The metaphor about putting more clothing in a already full closet is perfect for these times.

If you are wanting, asking, praying for change, joy and happiness then understand that you will need to clean out the closet first. Empty out old beliefs, habits, thought patterns and reactive behaviors. Maybe, like me, you may need to recreate old dreams that suit the deeper you.

Here’s what we surmised is going on with most of us while on this path of self-discovery, emptying and excavation.
1. We seem to share a sense of disconnect.
2. Feelings of optimism are fleeting.
3. Old dreams and the old sense of purpose seems to have evaporated.
4. We may feel lost, adrift and without moorings.
5. Our deepest fears may have manifested (if only in our minds).

While we did not come up with a cure, we decided that it is a time to remember and connect with those whom you resonate, or feel a genuine friendship-heart connection. Take heart and take moments to listen to that still voice within.  Trust what you are hearing (as long as it is positive). When the time feels right, take that leap of faith, and act on your guidance.

I look forward to seeing you on the path and send this Buddhist blessing to you all.

May all beings be safe.
May all beings be healthy.
May all beings be happy.
May all beings live with ease.

Wishing you ease and joy on your courageous journeys.